Friday, February 14, 2014

How about we don't give a crap

Some writer in The Nation is wondering why conservatives are not weighing in on Michael Sam's announcement that he's gay.

Here's a thought. How about we don't give a shit.

Somewhere along the line liberals have held this belief that because your anti gay marriage, you're somehow anti gay.

The truth of the matter most conservatives don't give a shit what happens in your bedroom anymore than you care about what happens in mine. Does Dave Zirin, the writer of this piece, want to hear about how I'm attracted to short, Asian girls with giant fake boobs, partial to the reverse cowgirl position, maybe a golden shower here or there, or even an occasional Cincinnati steamer? (For the record....maybe none or all of these really apply)

My guess.......... he isn't.

I couldn't care less who Michael Sams has sex with.

Just to satisfy Mr. Zirin curiosity, here's partial list of people who I don't care to know about their sex lives.

Billy Joel
Mitch McConnell
Bristol Palin
Hillary Clinton
Joan Jett
Buzz Aldren
Apollo Ono (actually, you can add the whole Subway endorsement crew)
Dan Marino
Richie Sambora
Bruce Dern
Laura Dern
Dave Zirin

The list goes on and on.................

Just because I'm against gay marriage doesn't mean I have some infatuation with whom people are doing the dirty with. I DON'T CARE.

But for some reason, Michael Sams and Dave Zirin feel that it's real important to push it my face and demand that I approve. Again, the dirty little secret I'll let Dave in on is that most people are indifferent. They don't care because it's not in their personal version of Housewives of Redville.


Since gay marriage seems to be the issue that brings this up. Let me ask a couple of questions.

Exactly, what value does the state actually add to the marital contract that can't be handled between two adults? I've been writing about this for over three years and no one can give me a coherent answer yet.

When the lovely Mrs. Gekko and I got married. We waited in a Warren County bullpen along with every other juvenile delinquent and criminal waiting for someone to call our number so we could record our marriage license.

The whole time we sat there, I couldn't help but wonder why we needed to do that. What freakin' business is it of anyone but ourselves how we want to handle our marital contract?

Oh, it's now a public document which means we get shit loads of junk mail looking to target a couple of newlyweds. That's pretty important.

Now my stalker ex-wife can track me down via those same public records to find out where I live. That's freakin' real important.
Or when/if we decide to divorce in a no fault divorce state I guess we need something of record to dissolve something that had no value to the state in the first place (hence why make it dissolving it no fault). That's pretty important.

If you are going to allow gays to marry, what justification do you not allow polygamists to marry?

Why shouldn't cousins be able to marry? Siblings for that matter?

How do you tell a 14 year old girl she can't marry her 40 year old Spanish teacher? After all, nature says she's ready to bear children so shouldn't she be allowed to marry.

If any of those scenarios creep you out, aren't you every bit as guilty of prejudice that you accuse gay marriage opponents of?

Once again, I want to be a proponent of "Don't ask, Don't tell".  I won't ask Phyliss Schlafly who she's into, and I'm pretty sure she won't ask me. Michael Sams has the same status.

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