Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Dear President Elect

Dear Mr. President Elect;

I am a hard working taxpayer. Last spring, after a good tax season, I had some additional funds and decided to purchase a few shares of stock.

Given how beaten up I thought GE stock was, I bought 200 shares a $28/share.

In addition, thinking these stocks couldn't get any lower, I bought Fifth Third at $18/share and National City at $5/share.

My wife and I would like to help out the economy by finishing off our basement and adding an addition to the back of home. Unfortunately, the money I was going to use to do these things took a pounding from my stock losses above.

So I'll make you a deal. How about a Gekko bailout to the tune of 20 gigabillion dollars on the promise that I'll reinvest it in the economy by finishing our remodeling. I promise to do it just like the $350 billion the banks have used to reinvest in the economy.

The fact is, my investment decisions were a hell of lot better than buying billions of dollars in mortgages people wouldn't pay back. C'mon O, are you kidding me?

Look, the Gekko's can continue to operate without this stimulus. I'm only thinking about those poor Warren county contractors who need work. If we don't get this bailout, there will be many workers in the Warren County area without access to a job, cigarettes, lottery tickets, and Old Milwaukee.

Therefore, it's really only prudent that you help out the local economy with this bailout.

In addition O, I know how this works politically, so let me say up front, I don't own a corporate jet. So we're good there. I also understand that congress will want some accountability with this bailout. So you better make it for a few terrabillion more so we can make sure we comply by making our project green.

Thanks President elect Obama.

The Gekko Family.

PS I think I know someone who can take care of your Blago problem.... if you know what I mean?

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