Where the hell is my global warming?

I haven't posted much because 1) I'm a CPA and this is tax season 2) because when I don't have my face in front of my computer, I'm shoveling snow; lot's of snow.

Now the Gekko's 1800 sq. ft. palatial estate has about a 120 foot driveway. I've threatened to buy a snow blower in the past because shoveling that is a bitch.

But I've resisted because 1) It's my way of saying I'm green 2) it's good exercise and 3) The Branch Gorevidians have convinced me that my Maineville abode will be beach front property in the next decade. So why invest in a snow blower unless I can convert it into a margarita machine?

Now, as I come in from yet another snow shoveling episode I get to hear that unusual snow is actually the result of global warming.

Are you kidding me?

So when it gets warm, it's because of global warming. When it gets cold it's a result of global warming? When we have lots of hurricanes; global warming. Not so many; global warming.

Have you ever noticed that Branch Gorvidian theory has predictive value (part of what makes a hypothesis moved up to theory) only after the fact. Meaning you won't find a Branch Gorevidian espousing heavy snowfall as a potential global warming effect until after we actually get a foot of snow in a day.

Nevermind that the temperature in February has failed to get above 30 degrees this month. That's AGW too!

Well, now that I can rely on Phil Jones and the rest of the Branch Gorevidian community to lie to the global populace, I'm getting my snow exercise tonight and it won't be from shoveling. It's going to be from driving our carbon spewing SUV all over town until I can find a Lowe's with the biggest, baddest carbon exhaling snow blower on the market. And if I happen to run into Al Gore in the process, I'm kicking him in the balls.