How to avoid the death penalty

A Tennessee prisoner, condemned to death, is trying to convince a Knoxville judge he is too mentally ill to be executed.

The Knoxville News Sentinel reported the hearing for Billy Ray Irick was scheduled to continue today with presentation of testimony from a mental health expert summoned by prosecutors.

Irick was convicted in the 1985 rape and killing of 7-year-old Paula Kery Dyer -- a child he was babysitting.

Defense attorney C. Eugene Shiles argued Monday that Irick doesn't understand his connection to the child's death and is not competent to be executed.

Once again, we have a death row type begging for the mercy he failed to offer his victim.

Let's go over the rules for avoiding the death penalty because I know it's difficult.

Rule #1 Don't commit first degree murder. If you avoid that one little detail, you'll never get fired up on death row.

Rule #2 Don't commit an additional felony while committing your 1st degree murder. Once again, simply killing someone isn't enough to get the Green Mile. You have to commit yet another felony in addition to your first degree murder in order to get any kind of death penalty. Don't do that. For instance, if you feel the need to kill your wife just kill her. Don't do an arson in addition to murdering your wife. That counts against you.

Rule #3 if you really feel the urge to screw up #1 or #2, do it in New York or Massachusetts where there is no death penalty

Rule #4 If you are a parent do not name your kid Wayne or Ray. It's almost a slam dunk.

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