Thursday, October 06, 2011

I am the 1%

When I read the comments to the previous post (thanks for those great comments by the way), it appears that success is not too elusive if you're willing to give up some instant gratification for something greater in the future. Seriously, it really is a simple formula.... Go to school, don't commit crime, don't breed children you're not ready for, get a job, any job and live with the shit that comes with it until you can move on to the next one. And finally, if you get a college degree make sure you leave with a marketable skill. Majoring in Russian Lit is a major in unemployment.

After reading all those self pitying auto biographies, I decided to note those things that make me one of the 1%. As you can see, it's really not all that hard. Unless you are a total fuck up.

But here's a hint to all you 99%'ers, if your lifestyle makes you a candidate for an MTV reality show, you will probably always be a screw up..........

I am 48 years old and my wife is 45.

We have both done what we told we were supposed to in life.

We both graduated from high school and went on to colleges that we could afford. My degree was in accounting her’s was in graphic arts.

When her degree didn’t result in any decent job prospects, she moved home and went back to get another bachelors; this time in nursing.

When I finished my degree, I moved to a city I couldn’t stand because frankly, it was my only decent job offer.

During our years, neither of us have been arrested. We’ve never done drugs (at least in adulthood), had children out of wedlock or job hopped. We simply clock in every day and do our work and live with all the bullshit and dingleberries that come with it.

We live in a $140,000, 1300 sq. ft. palatial estate that we could afford if either of us lost our jobs. I’ll challenge Sheryl Crow to a carbon footprint contest any damn day of the year.

We contribute to our retirement accounts and pay our bills.

Despite our late starts in saving, we’ve accumulated a net worth of around $400,000.

Apparently, we are the 1%.

We’re the fucking greedy, conservative, Wall St. capitalists who have something simply because we delayed gratification and built a sturdy foundation for our lives so they wouldn’t crumble during the slightest of windstorms.

We the 1% who are sick and tired of being cast as predators in our society. We’re the people who fund all of your government subsidies so you can get high and breed babies with no hopes of supporting them.

So to all of you derelicts……. kiss my ass.

Sorry I don't have this handwritten with a self portrait photo from my iphone. We still have old fashion flip phones. Another reason we have money today.

1 comment:

Al said...

If you don't want to work? Die!
Let's reset the time machine to 1880. If you don't work, you DIE!
Pretty simple concept.
Ten Commandments.
Thou shalt not steal.
Thou shall not covet thy neighbors goods.
Where did the concept of a farmer that decides not to plant & work his farm, take the fruits of his neighbors farm? I don't get it?