Males not permitted

Years ago, I liked to spend Sunday mornings going to a local park, turn on a Sunday morning sports talk show and read the Sunday paper in the fresh air.

One Sunday, I went to Mt Airy Forest (you Cincinnatians know of it) where I was doing just that when I got the crap scared out of me by a guy who knocked on my window.

I asked him what he wanted and he just looked at me real weird and walked away.

When I told a coworker about it, he informed me that I was in "Lollipop Park" and the guy probably thought I was looking for some gay action.

"ON SUNDAY FREAKIN' MORNING!?!?" was my reply.

So I decided I could no longer go to that park for fear that someone would mistake me for George Michael.

As a result, I started going to a park where there was traffic........ assuming that gays wouldn't be hanging out with the soccer moms.

One morning, a cop pulled up next to me and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was reading my paper listening to the radio.

He told me that one of the soccer moms called in a strange guy in a car in the park.

Nothing came of it, but I got the message loud and clear. DON'T GO TO FREAKIN' PARKS ANYMORE IF YOU ARE A SINGLE/STRAIGHT GUY.

So I can relate to this article completely...........

Last week, the lieutenant governor of Massachusetts, Timothy Murray, noticed smoke coming out of a minivan in his hometown of Worcester. He raced over and pulled out two small children, moments before the van's tire exploded into flames. At which point, according to the AP account, the kids' grandmother, who had been driving, nearly punched our hero in the face.

Why?

Mr. Murray said she told him she thought he might be a kidnapper.

And so it goes these days, when almost any man who has anything to do with a child can find himself suspected of being a creep. I call it "Worst-First" thinking: Gripped by pedophile panic, we jump to the very worst, even least likely, conclusion first. Then we congratulate ourselves for being so vigilant.

Consider the Iowa daycare center where Nichole Adkins works. The one male aide employed there, she told me in an interview, is not allowed to change diapers. "In fact," Ms. Adkins said, "he has been asked to leave the classroom when diapering was happening."

Hey, I guess if I can get out of diaper changing what do I have to complain about?

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