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Here is my request that got thrown into the package subtitled Wireless & Broadband deployment programs....

(including transfer of funds to Gordon Gekko for the Gordon Gekko Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $750000000 shall be paid directly to Gordon Gekko in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Gordon Gekko to Free beer for midgets or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Gordon Gekko will receive free Chicago Bears tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Gordon Gekko shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: George Voinovich is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.