Happy Easter

Easter will always be a special day for me because it's the day when I "got it".

Recently divorced and in the middle of a toxic, drama filled, rebound relationship, I started going to church knowing something was missing in my life.

I had been going to church for about six months when I started watching Jesus of Nazareth Easter of 2002. During the breaks, I would spend time reflecting on my life and started listening to what God was saying to me.

It was during that day when I realized I had a "hole in my soul". The place God created to have a relationship with me. Because he also gave me free will, it's also a place he allowed me to put whatever I wanted (food, sex, booze, drugs, shopping, gambling, working out, etc.) in that space.

At that time in my life, I think I tried to stuff anything and everything that might provide me with a momentary "fix" in that space. Many of them provide a temporary buzz but all they ever sustained was a craving for more.

In fact, I liked to tell my friends that I wanted to write a country song called "I drink to forget but the memories just get more painful."

During that day of reflecting, I had to finally give up my pride (the deadliest of deadly sins) and accept that maybe I didn't have all the answers or, better, all of my answers were for the wrong questions.

It's so funny that even though I've read the Bible, I find that I know less today than I did before I ever read a page, part of my humility lesson I guess.

None the less, I find that when I create quiet time to listen and talk to God, my craving for the worldly life subsides. I encourage everyone to spend some time to just "be with God".

So if my testimony can be of help to someone today, than this post was worth all of my time on this blog.