When I was in the eighth grade, I went to a school dance with Kelly Rovner. People told me I was out of my league, yet I built up enough courage to ask her to the dance. Our evening was going well. I executed the gameplan to perfection....a nice pre-dance meal at Pizza Hut, carefully using all of my pre-rehearsed lines, I was even holding my own on the dance the floor. As the night reached it's conclusion, I reveled in actually pulling off what many had thought impossible: a succesful date with one of the 10-15 best looking 13 year-olds in the school. I also considered my move. Me being 13 and not well versed in the art of making advances on girls (a trend that would continue deep into adulthood), I selected "grab her butt" among the various playcalls in my final-song-of-the-night gameplan. As "One More Try" by Timmy T blared across the gym, I grabbed my handful and waited for her response. After a brief delay, it came: a full-on, toe-first, direct-contact kick to my balls that sent shockwaves throughout my entire body, and amounts of pain that if I think hard enough, I can still feel.
I felt exactly the same way as I watched Brandon Stokely tiptoe the sideline today at PBS.
Of course I can't gloat a whole lot. Being a Bears fan I was looking forward to watching them play with a real quarterback for the first time since leather helmets disappeared. I didn't realize that Jay Cutler was hurt and they replaced him with Rick Mirer, Jim Miller, Bob Avellini, Vince Evans, Steve Fuller, Doug Flutie, Peter Tom Willis, Cade McNown, etc.