Friday, April 25, 2008

The Section 8 Bengals

Let me just start this post by saying, if you are one of those guys who camps out at your local sports bar to watch the draft for three + hours, you are a loser.

The only thing more worthless than the watching the draft, following high school recruiting.

But let's start again with the annual proclamation that the Bengals will always be losers up until the day the Brown family is killed in an airline crash or poisoned during Easter dinner.

Once again the Bengals did next to nothing in the free agent period. They lost four players to free agency. While a Bengal apologist will explain that none of the players were a big loss, the fact remains they signed exactly ONE player, Antwan Odom, during the period.

Who are they planning on replacing Madeiu Williams with? Me.

But you idiot Bengal fans will come back with the old "Gordon, we'll get our needs met in the draft".

HELLOOOOOO, Every team will address their needs in the draft. And every other NFL team actually uses team resources (aka scouts) to make sure they get the right players.

Let's do the math again class.

Every team gets 7 picks in a draft. The average life of a player in the NFL is 5 years. That means approximately 35 players (at best) will be players drafted by the team. The remaining 17 players will be up of free agent signings.

Below is a list of the players the Bengals drafted in 2004. Of eleven picks, three remain on the team.

Chris Perry
Keiwan Ratliff
Madieu Williams
Caleb Miller
Landon Johnson

Matthias Askew
Robert Geathers
Stacy Andrews
Maurice Mann
Greg Brooks
Casey Bramlet

So you loser Bengal fans can go to your local sports bar and oh an ah on this guy's 40 time and his bench press and think the Bengals are going to be better than there were last year.

Mean while I'll be laughing my ass off knowing that every other team in the NFL will be better after the draft and the Bengals will roll in a 6-10 record for 2008.

I made fun of the CMHA for wanting Section 8 housing on the riverfront. The fact is the city spent over a billion dollars to house two section 8 tenants down there.

More reason not to support welfare on any level.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, by far you must be the biggest moron for a CPA I've ever had the sorry pleasure to cross upon. First, the Bengals signed 7 free agents this offseason (4 from other teams, and 3 free agents that were Bengals last year). Second, they also got Odell Thurman back, which is like getting a solid first rounder if he plays like he did his rookie (and only) season. Third, the Bengals do have 10 picks this draft, which could very well be a difference maker.

As for calling people who want to sit and watch the draft at their local sports bars losers, coming from a nerd CPA that's funny. At the sportsbar there will be pretty girls to look at, beer to drink and some football related stuff to watch. What exactly are you going to do, be filing someone's tax extension and clicking away on a keyboard? lol..losers..pot calling the kettle black..

If anyone sees this, come to a real Bengals blog at www.stripehype.com. We have Bengal player interviews, a contest to win a Ben Utecht autographed Bengals jersey and much more. This clown doesn't know a thing.

gordon gekko said...

Here's my source on the free agent signings

http://www.ihavenet.com/nfl-2008-free-agent-update-april-1.html

Who are the other three guys, car washers.

The fact that a CPA calls you out as a loser makes it even more pathetic.

Yeah sports bars are loaded with lots of hot chicks looking for losers with big guts and lots of flatulence. I think I read that on the last Playmate's "turn ons"

I'll make the striper here a bet. I'll bet $100 that the Bengals will be sub 500 in each and every season and he can take them on the over.

I'm looking forward to being a very rich man.I've only got 15 of the past 16 seasons of history to bank on.

gordon gekko said...

I do acknowledge my error

The bengals did sign Ben Utecht from Indy and two car washers, one being Palmer's little brother.

Anonymous said...

Hey Stripe, I've been a Bengals fan my whole life and I want to see them do well as much as anyone. You can try to pick apart Gordon on technicalities. But, futile as that may be, the elephant in the room is that there are people in this town who have been Bengals fans their whole life, GRADUATED COLLEGE, and yet have memories of only one single Bengals winning season (2005). And that assumes they were only 5 when their football memories started in 1991. 18 years of continuous futility is not a coincidence. Mike Brown is no Paul Brown. I see no reason why we should expect a new trend this year.

And I wouldn't go around criticising a business owner as a loser because he does his job. So he's not sitting idle and drunk in a bar ogling an ugly chick through his beer goggles. If that would make him a winner in your mind, it says more about you than him.

gordon gekko said...

Look, I want the Bengals to win as much as anyone.

But the fact is Mike Brown is a fucking thief. He essentially stole a half billion dollars from this city. Our city deserves better.

Anyone who supports this franchise is an enabler to this theft.

I will never understand how so many people show up to Bengals games getting raped at $70.00 - 100.00 a ticket to watch that crap when you have a perfectly good, successful college team up the hill at 1/10 the price.

I don't care if striper calls me a loser. look at the team he supports... that says it all.