Moving to the city?

So you're one of those young urban professionals looking to live in a vibrant, diverse and eclectic environment. What better way than to move into your local inner city.

Take St. Louis. What kind of amenities can you look forward to in city life?

The homeless weren't a problem for previous administrations since few taxpayers lived downtown. Business executives ventured outside their office towers only at lunch hour and in the safety of packs. Then the tax credits kicked in and developers began buying up and rehabbing abandoned buildings, and, finally, the ultra-progressive loft-seekers arrived. Their compassion and pity for the homeless, however, lasted about as long as Britney Spears' marriage.

Suddenly the homeless were a serious problem. It wasn't just the aggressive, threatening panhandling. It was more the public urination, the public drunkenness, the way the homeless passed out in the doorways of multi-million dollar loft buildings, and the drug dealing in downtown parks. The homeless congregated in the downtown area because that was where one found the city's one major homeless shelter -- the New Life Evangelistic Center. St. Louis's main business district long ago migrated from downtown to Clayton, in St. Louis County, but you will find no homeless there, since office space is at a premium, and panhandling is actively frowned upon.

The author forgot one important thing. You get to pay about double the municipal tax rate to live in a place where the doorway of your trendy apartment dwelling smells like a port-o-let.

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