Memo

To All Jihadists

From O. bin Laden

RE Vacation plans



Last night, me and my goats watched with glee as President Obama introduced a withdrawal plan by Summer of 2011. We look forward to the day we can all roam freely about Pakistan and Afghanistan without persecution by an American president.

On an unrelated note. Obviously, as you have all learned from watching CNN international, the current economy is a difficult one and we jihadists are not immune to poor investment performance. It is, after all, the money we use to fund our commitment to Allah.

As a result of our poor cash flow, I've decided to give you all an unpaid leave until September, 2011. By then, I'm convinced that the stock market will rebound and I will be more than able to fully fund our endeavors.

You all have worked very hard to kill infidels, so please look at this as vacation time to reconvene with your families in Iran, Oman, Saudi Arabia, etc. before hooking up with scores of virgins in the afterlife.

Please enjoy yourself during your time off. Also note that you are expected to reconvene in Kabul on September 11, 2011. Be back, refreshed and ready to kill satin when you return.

Don't be late!

OBL