Eat More Crow

Dear Sheryl

It was always my hope that one day I would get to meet you. After all, you are a very attractive, in fact, hot, superstar while I'm just an ordinary accountant who enjoys your music.

However, after I read your post on Yahoo news; it left me a little confused. You see, being just an ordinary accountant, I've gone to great lengths to reduce my carbon footprint. I live in a home about half the size of a normal home; in the winter, people complain about possible frostbite I keep it so cold; in the summer, I don't use the central air but instead use a window unit in my bedroom so I can sleep at night. My utilities bills usually amount to $75/month.

I also use those little curly lights and turn them off when I'm not in a room. I don't drive an SUV but I don't drive a compact car either. I'm not exceptional, I'm like 90% of America.

The fact is Sheryl, I bet my carbon footprint is probably 1/10th the footprint you leave in CO2 emissions. I would be willing to bet our respective fortunes that is the case.

You trapes around the country (I'm sure your flying commercial right?) with all your biodiesel vans and buses. Ms. Crow, you are an artist, couldn't you simply do your shows and releases from Hollywood and send them out via satellite, (we have the technology as such). Don't you realize that biodiesel fuel would be available for public transportation if you didn't use it for your caravan?

It occurs to me, maybe your piece is simply a self serving piece of hypocrisy and, like most socialists, you talk the talk but won't walk the walk with the rest of us. I guess it's OK for you to make money off of the four car companies that have used your songs on their commercials as long we don't drive their cars.

So I'm afraid I have to call off my little fantasy meeting with you at Fraze Pavilion this summer. After all, I wouldn't want to waste a bunch fossil fuels to watch you do the songs I already have on CD.