A fine whine

When I first picked up on this article Friday (HT BOTW), I was incensed and all set to post on this whiny little weasel. After thinking about it over some beers, I thought I would just ignore it.

But after the weekend, I'm back to incensed.

Here are little Junior's problems.

I did what every upstanding citizen is supposed to do. I went to college. I took out loans so I could enroll at Alfred University, a pricey private school. The next year, I transferred to the more finance-friendly University at Buffalo, where I could commute from home and push carts part-time at Home Depot.

I related my forthcoming debt to puberty or a midlife crisis — each an unavoidable nuisance; tickets required upon admission to the next stage of adulthood. But as interest rates climbed and the cost of tuition, books and daily living mounted to galactic proportions,

I realized this was more than some paltry inconvenience.

Upon graduating, I was helplessly launched headfirst into the “real world,” equipped with a degree in history and $32,000 in student loans. Before ricocheting back home, I would learn two important lessons: 1) There are no well-paying — let alone paying — jobs for history majors. 2) The real world is really tough.

First, did this guy do any research on the job market for "history" majors? To my knowledge, unless you want to teach and/or work for the government, your choices are limited. I was no worldly college student when I went to school in the early 80's but even then, I knew that a history major was akin to majoring in unemployment.

Second, the real world is really tough and it's a hell of a lot tougher than sleeping in a bed at your parents home. When we're your parents planning on telling you this?

But that isn't what really got my shorts in a bunch, it was this little diddy.

Unfortunately, the recent passage of the College Cost Reduction and Access Act doesn’t portend that times are a-changin’. The act reduces interest rates on Stafford Loans and increases Pell Grant awards. Whoopty-do.

There’s no question that this is a step forward. But we’re still talking pennies and nickels when we need to completely revolutionize the government’s role in financing post-secondary education.

College is a wonderful experience and something every young citizen should pursue. But without help, a college education is becoming an unaffordable rite of passage and a privilege of the affluent.

My loan payments can’t wait much longer, and soon I must leave home to find work that doesn’t compromise my integrity. Although I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I had declared as an accounting major and got a cushy job punching numbers somewhere, I’ll take my history major, my debt and my mom’s cooking any day of the week.

Look Kenny, you lack the intelligence and maturity to even be an accounting major. How could you possibly pass the CPA exam when you're so clueless you didn't realize that people aren't knocking down doors for history majors.

This baby has to be a democrat. How else could someone be so self absorbed as to think that we should all get a free education and not have to "compromise my integrity" for the degree in hand.

Do you think accounting was the lifelong passion for everyone in the profession? I wanted to be an NBA basketball player all my life. It was what I dreamed about all the time. Unfortunately, I was vertically challenged at 5'11". I didn't get to explore my dream and neither does anyone else.

The rest of the world decided that things like being employed and living away from their parents at the age of 24 was more important than being self actualized as a history major.

So little Kenny, I would feel sorry for your parents, except they helped create the self absorbed, little twit you turned out to be.