Saturday, May 02, 2009

Oh my God we're all going to die

This morning on the treadmill I looked up at the TV screen to see that The WHO has confirmed 675 cases of the R2D2 flu virus worldwide.

Just to put that into perspective, I wanted to know what the percentage is so I divided 675 cases by 8 billion people.....that translates into what Excel says is 7.6875E-08.

Which is a pretty damn small percentage. I think.

So if you want to avoid swine flu, here are my tips.

1) Drink lots of beer; preferably fresh from the bottle.

2) Stay away from liberals, they are the transmitters of most STD's, so you can assume they'll probably have swine flu as well.

3) Don't listen to Coldplay; it has nothing to do with the flu but just a general life principle.

I can assure you that if you follow these tips, you will effectively avoid the R2D2 swine virus or whatever politically correct name they are giving to this strain.

No comments: